Meet My Folks
by Colleen1
Summary: Chapter 4 up! This is a parody of the tv show:Meet my folks. All the Zelda guys are trying to win over Zelda's parents! This is my first attempt at humor, so no flames! Tune in next week to seee which of the Zelda characters got voted off.
1. Day 1

Author's Note: This is a parody of the new TV show "Meet My Folks" so sue me if it's not as good as you hoped but this is my first attempt to humor.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda or the TV show "Meet my folks"  
  
Welcome back to the only TV show where you get to see all of your favorite Zelda characters oozing over Zelda!  
  
When we left for our commercial break a few characters had just shown up. Let's see who's here. We have Link, Kafei, the Curiosity Shop Guy (CGS), Toto, Gorman, the Postman, the Toilet Guy, Kamaro (the crazing dancing ghost in MM), Grog with his stupid chickens, the Gorman brothers, Shiro (the invisible solider in MM), Guru-Guru, Ganondorf, and last to arrive was the skull kid.  
  
Well, let's get started. First, let's meet the folks: The King of Hyrule and the Queen of Hyrule.  
  
King of Hyrule: Well, as all of you know you will two weeks here at my castle (if I choose for you to stay that long) and after each night my wife and I will choose someone that has to leave. And if you manage to win us over, you will have Zelda's hand in marriage.  
  
Queen of Hyrule: Alright now Zelda will show you all to the guest rooms of the castle. Then all of you will come back and we will ask you all questions.  
  
When they came back they sat in a line. From left to right: Toilet Guy, Toto, Postman, Shiro, Skull Kid, Ganondorf, Gorman, Gorman brothers, Grog, Guru-Guru, Kafei, Kamaro, Link, and the Curiosity Shop Guy.  
  
QH: OK, Toilet Guy. Why are you in a toilet all the time? And why do you always want paper?  
  
TG: Well, as a baby, my mother dropped me in this toilet and no one ever got me out. I always want paper because it can get rrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy yyyy dirty in a toilet. I should know because I live in here.  
  
QH: Fair enough.  
  
KH: Ok, Toto, why aren't you married?  
  
Toto: Well, I did ask Ruto once but she blew me off. Said she was already engaged to Linky-poo over there.  
  
Link: That's NOT true!  
  
KH: Ooookkkk.  
  
QH: Next question for the postman. Why are you so obsessed with the schedule? Personally, if the moon is going to crash. Do you really think people are going to be worried about their mail??  
  
Postman: .the schedule is the highest priority and if the schu-  
  
Link: Shut it Mr.priority-smriority.  
  
QH: ok.  
  
KH: Ok, Shiro. What's the deal with being invisible? And did you know you were wearing a mask all this time?  
  
Shiro: I don't know why I was wearing a mask and no I didn't know I was wearing it.  
  
KH: rrrriiiiigggghhhhhttttt......  
  
QH: ok. Skull Kid. How did you get on top of that moon??  
  
SK: It's a secret.  
  
QH: why is it a secret?  
  
SK: because I'm not telling.  
  
QH: well I asked.....  
  
KH: Next question. Ganondorf, I heard you like to sleep with teddy bears is this true?  
  
Ganondorf: um.....well........you see........yes (looks down at his feet while everyone breaks out into uncontrollable laughter).  
  
KH: well that satisfies my curiosity.  
  
QH: Gorman, have you ever thought about plucking your eyebrows?  
  
Gorman: No  
  
QH: Well you should consider it.  
  
KH: Gorman brothers, are you related to Gorman?  
  
GB: Yes.  
  
KH: why do you attack Cremia's cart so to get her milk which is ruined when it hits the ground anyway?  
  
GB: cause we bad We bad We really really bad We say we bad  
  
KH: rrrrriiiiiigggggghhhhhhhtttttt  
  
QH: Grog, do you know that if the moon is going to fall and you're only concern is that your chicks wouldn't be chickens before it happens then you have really big problems? And that chickens aren't allowed in the castle?  
  
Grog: They're not? Oh then can I sleep outside with them?  
  
QH: ssssuuuurrrreeee...  
  
KH: Guru-Guru. What drugs are you on that give you such mood swings like that?  
  
GG: it's called prozac. You want some?  
  
KH: uuuuuhhhhhh.....no  
  
QH: Kafei. Why are you here trying to get with my daughter? Aren't you already supposed to be married to Anju?  
  
Kafei: She cheated on me with one of the Gorman brothers. So when I confronted her about it she left me. And when the Gorman brothers didn't want her she packed up with her god awful mother and left town.  
  
QH: that's sad.  
  
KH: Kamaro. Aren't you dead?  
  
Kamaro: So?  
  
(Translation: So?)  
  
KH: Don't you think this might create some problems later on?  
  
The queen smacked her husband.  
  
Kamaro: I just want to dance at all those fancy balls you guys have. It will become a popular dance craze.  
  
(Translation: I don't care about your daughter I just want my dance to become good enough for Hyrule's Music television aka: HMTV)  
  
KH: ooookkkkk.....  
  
QH: Well Link, aren't you cute?  
  
Link: yeah  
  
QH: But I heard you cheated on the little ranch girl what's her name? Malon? Several times, is this true?  
  
Link: yeah  
  
QH: WELL!!!  
  
KH: Finally, Curiosity Shop Guy (CSG) aren't you a little old for my daughter?  
  
CSG: nope  
  
KH: How old are you?  
  
CSG: 44  
  
KH: well my daughter is only 19  
  
CSG: So?  
  
QH: WELL!!!  
  
KH: Alright now all of you are dismissed for a while before dinner.  
  
When they were out of reach for the parents to hear. One of the guards stopped them and said, "Listen, I know everyone's secrets. And if you don't embarrass yourselves at dinner I will reveal these awful secrets."  
  
Link: you don't know anything I am not doing anthing.  
  
Guard: Really? ~whispers something in Link's ear~  
  
Link: ok, what do I have to do?  
  
Everyone else: That bad, huh?  
  
Link: Yeah  
  
Everyone else: crap  
  
Guard: Alright now this is what you have to do. ~whispers~  
  
Everyone: crap  
  
So later that night at dinner.  
  
Kafei "drops" a glass plate and it shatters.  
  
CSG belches so loud that the house shook.  
  
Toto farts just as the queen is about to speak.  
  
Gorman eats his food like a dog.  
  
The postman spends half an hour in the bathroom with mysterious noises coming from that direction.  
  
The toilet guy flushes all of the spaghetti down his toilet (claims that is the only way he can eat!)  
  
Kamaro jumps up on his chair and starts doing his crazy "popular" dance.  
  
Grog clucked like a chicken around the table.  
  
The Gorman brothers stole all of the queen's milk.  
  
Shiro puts on his invisible mask and shakes the table.  
  
Guru-Guru pulls out his music box and plays all throughout dinner.  
  
The skull kid somersaults onto the chandelier.  
  
Ganondorf writes with permanent marker on the wall, "I love Link." (His teddy bear!)  
  
And Link reaches over and passionately kiss Zelda for seriously ten minutes.  
  
Needless to say by the end of dinner the folks were going crazy! So the guard can't hold it in any longer and burst into laughter so hard the tears are rolling down his face. When he started laughing everyone stopped what they were doing except Link who was still all over Zelda. Then Kafei poked him in the side and he stopped.  
  
So the guard told the folks what he threaten them with. This is didn't go well with the parents.  
  
KH: I think you all should go to your rooms while we make the decision on who has to leave.  
  
QH: (who was still pretty upset) Yes, we have to decide now, we will send Zelda in a little bit.  
  
  
  
Well, what do you think?? Well you have to review and tell me who you want voted off! Put it in your review!!! The "contestants" are: Kafei, Curiosity Shop Guy, Toto, Gorman, the Postman, the toilet guy, Kamaro, Grog, the gorman brothers, shiro, guru-guru, skull kid, ganondorf, or Link. 


	2. Day 2

Thanks for the wonderful reviews!!! So I counted up the votes and here are the results enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: Under no circumstances do I own Zelda.  
  
Colleen: And now back to Meet My Folks! With your host, me!  
  
Colleen: When we last left our show we had some rude awakenings at the dinner table! Let's see who gets the boot.....  
  
KH: Well this was very hard for us to decide because we want to get rid of all of you but we can only choose one.  
  
QH: Yes, and we've decided that Postman you've got to go.  
  
Postman: But...but....oh well now I can go back to my yogi exercises.  
  
The Postman leaves with his bunny outfit and that silly hat.  
  
KH: Ok, now today we are going to test your physical capabilities.  
  
QH: That's right, all of today you will go through extensive training and exercising while Zelda and I sit on the couch, while sipping lemonade and eating chocolates. Have fun!  
  
Colleen: Now we go to the field and watch as the King of Hyrule puts the men through hell.  
  
KH: Now I want all of you to do 100 jumping jacks now!  
  
GB: But that cuts into Rugrats time!  
  
KH: NOW!  
  
GB: Yes, sir!  
  
Grog: Where are my chicks?!?!?! Hhhheeeerrrreee chicky chickys!  
  
KH: GET MOVING!  
  
Grog: (squeals like a dog)  
  
Shiro: I am not physically fit to do this.  
  
KH: Oh, brother.....do it or I will throw you out!  
  
The Toliet Guy: .............????????????  
  
Toto: (after about 3 jumping jacks) I....can't.....breathe....lungs......on......fire..... (faints)  
  
Link: Oh yeah I could do this all day!  
  
Kafei: Oh yeah me too!  
  
Curiosity Shop Guy: rrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiipppppppppppp I just ripped my pants!! (Cries like a little baby) I want my mommy!  
  
Gorman: Only......70.......more......to.......go.......(drops)  
  
Kamaro: (Finishes jumping jacks and starts to dance) YYYYYEEESSSS this is fun!  
  
Guru-Guru: (who is also finished is playing the music for Kamaro) yeah!  
  
KH: STOP!  
  
Everyone that was still jumping drops to the ground panting.  
  
KH: Now everyone, 100 sit-ups!  
  
Everyone: Nnnnnooooooooo!  
  
16 hours later.........  
  
KH: Well, Link, Kafei, and Toilet Guy it looks like you guys are the only ones left. Congratulations!  
  
Link and Kafei start doing muscle flexes and break dance.  
  
KH: Well then let's go back to the castle.  
  
Link and Kafei kick everyone and they all mumble and slowly get up.  
  
Colleen: Well that was intense training, let's see what kind of scores they got.  
  
  
  
Kafei: 3000 pts.  
  
Link: 3002 pts. (he did 5 more sit-ups than Kafei)  
  
Curiosity Shop Guy: 260 pts.  
  
Toto: 10 pts.  
  
Gorman: 30 pts.  
  
Toliet Guy: 0 pts.  
  
Kamaro: 1000 pts.  
  
Grog: 800 pts.  
  
Gorman Brother #1: 500 pts.  
  
Gorman Brother #2: 200 pts. (collapsed after only 60 jumping jacks)  
  
Shiro: 20 pts.  
  
Guru-Guru: 1525 pts.  
  
  
  
Colleen: Well, now back to the castle.  
  
QH: OH! How'd it go?  
  
Shiro: OOOOOWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
QH: That bad uh?  
  
Grog: I can't walk. I can't walk. I can't------owww!  
  
Zelda: Oh! Are you all right, Link?  
  
Link: I'm fine. That was nothing, I could have gone on longer.  
  
Guru-Guru: SHUT UP! You just beat us because you've done this kind of stuff before.  
  
Kafei: Yeah Link, you're number 1! (inside joke, don't ask)  
  
KH: Now is the time I am sure all of you are waiting for.  
  
QH: It's time to vote another one off!  
  
KH: We will call you down shortly.  
  
Colleen: Who will it be? Who will get voted off? Is it Shiro, Guru-Guru, Curiosity Shop Guy.... (parody of South Park, I know but I don't own South Park either ~sticks tongue out~ You can't sue!!!!)  
  
Colleen: So join us next week who gets the boot!!  
  
  
  
REVIEW, please?? 


	3. Day 3

Author's Note: Well, after six years I decided I would come back and finish this parody now that the show is out dated and all…

Author's Note: Well, after six years I decided I would come back and finish this parody now that the show is out dated and all…. But I thought it would be fun to see how it turns out. I did notice I left out a couple of characters last chapter so I'll stick them back in. So here it goes…

Disclaimer: I have no claims to the Zelda games or the TV shows. Maybe one day…

Day 3 Meet My Folks

King of Hyrule (KH): Well the votes are in and it seems like the next one to leave is: The Gorman Brothers! Your score in the last round was less than desirable and well my daughter said she would jump out her window if we kept you so……..

GB: Grunts Never should have left the Ranch… At least we still have Cremia right?

Link: yeah… She told me you guys smell like horse shit….

Queen of Hyrule (QH): Next up, it's a DANCE OFF!! We want to see who can dance for our royal ball!

Kafei: Dance! Did she say dance? With women?

KH: Yes that's right. First we are going to see the solos of everyone and the top three will get a female partner. Good luck!

Curiosity Shop Guy (CSG): Scratches his head

Colleen: Well this should be interesting. Let's go now to the castle's ballroom and watch all the twinkle toes dance.

Ganondorf skips on the dance floor and starts doing the hokey pokey with his teddy bear. The audience sighs with affection.

Grog is up next with…. Yes you guessed it… the chicken dance. All his chicks line up behind him and pop up into to full grown chickens!!

Link comes flying onto the dance floor with a back flip and the lights start flashing during his break-dance routine. All the girls faint.

Kamaro with his crazy "popular" dance craze gets the audience jumping up and following him through the whole song.

Kafei does the Charlestown with his tap shoes and the audience burst into laughter and he bows his head and clicks off the floor.

Skull Kid jumps up on top of a column and jumps around with the skull kid dance. The audience responds well.

Shiro does a beautiful ballet dance. Too bad no one saw it.

The Toliet Guy: ...??

Curiosity Shop Guy walks to the middle of the dance floor and as the lights come up he swings around with the DISCO! Oooooooo

Gorman, who is not sure what to do, just stands still and sways back and forth.

Guru-Guru plays his instrument while jerking his head like Night at the Roxbury.

Toto waddles on the dance floor looks at everyone then waddles back off the dance floor.

KH: Well everyone that was interesting. Well then let's go back to the castle.

Colleen: Well that was embarrassing to say the least. Let's see how everyone did.

Link: 3000 pts.

Kafei: 375 pts.

Curiosity Shop Guy: 46 pts.

Toto: 5 pts.

Gorman: 40 pts.

Toliet Guy: 50 pts.

Kamaro: 2678 pts.

Grog: 753 pts.

Shiro: 20 pts.

Guru-Guru: 1525 pts.

Ganondorf: 1572 pts

Skull Kid: 2253 pts.

QH: OH! How'd it go?

Link: I won. As usual.

Kamaro: Good.

(Translation: My dance will become the most popular dance craze.)

Grog: LOOK AT MY CHICKENS! At last everything is good again!

Zelda: Oh!

The Toliet Guy: ??

KH: Now is the time I am sure all of you are waiting for.

QH: It's time to vote another one off!

KH: We will call you down shortly.

Colleen: It's up to the viewers who stays and who goes.

Colleen: So join us next week who gets the boot!!

REVIEW, please??


End file.
